Dude, Help Me Get My Car Back?


It's a Saturday afternoon and I’m driving the few miles from the Budget Motel to the Marin Vehicle Pound in Corte Madera. Faux Jay and Silent Bob are in the back of my cab reeking of pot. They need to get their car back. These two stoners had it impounded the day before by the U.S. Park Police after being arrested smoking pot (“and just a little hash, ok”) on Muir Beach.
“Didn’t you know you were on federal land, guys?” I inquire.
Silent Bob answers,” I’ll bet if we jumped in the ocean, they couldn’t arrest us.”
This is the tone of the conversation on the drive over.
“Guys, I gotta roll down the window, okay?”  I say.
I find them a bit amusing until they ask me, “Can you drive the car off the lot for us. They need to see a license. We can give you $20.”
“Where’s your license?,” I ask.
“In the glove compartment, dude.”
“Hmmmmm,” I wonder.
“We need to get back to Colorado,” he adds.
I figure I should consider helping them get out of Marin.
At the impound, Ron, the tow truck operator has no tolerance for their attitude.  Silent Bob hands over some form…a request to retrieve the vehicle.
“Where’s the title and registration”, Ron asks. “I need the title and registration for the vehicle.”
“Dude, I just bought the car two days ago,” says Silent Bob.
‘Then where’s the title transfer,” Ron asks.
“In the glove compartment, maybe.”
Off we trot past the gate that Ron unlocks. I’m trailing further behind.
The car door gets unlocked and Faux Jay goes into the glove compartment.
“Dude, the cops musta took ‘em.”
“Okay,” Ron suggests, “You need to go to the DMV and get a copy of the title and get it signed, then come back. I can’t give you the car, till then.”
“Dude, no way!”
Back in the cab, my stoners are crashing as I drive them back to the Budget Motel.
“It’s $85 bucks a day for the impound, “ Silent Bob says.
“You guys, I’ll take $20 for this little excursion,” I’m done. “and it’s a holiday on Monday so you’ve got a few days to wait.”
“Dude,” murmurs Faux Jay, “Hey, there’s a P.J. Chang’s over there. I gotta eat.”

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